Attunement; My Personal Definition.
To meet yourself (or another) in your (or their) current emotional, mental and energetic state.
What “Meeting Yourself” (Or Another) Means.
Meeting yourself is having the mindful awareness to slow down, come into your breath, collect your energy, feel grounded and connected to the Earth and yourself.
Meeting another is allowing yourself to be in the other’s heartfelt space of living and meeting them in that place; matching it, validating it, supporting it. Getting curious about: their “in the moment” experience, the energy of what is being communicated just beneath their words and what their energetic state feels like to you.
Aspects of Attunement.
awareness of the IMMEDIATE NOW OR PRESENT MOMENT, allowing the story, the history and the judgements to fall away
ability to WITNESS + FOLLOW as if you are playing toys with a child and letting them lead or walking your dog by loosely holding its leash
use of MINDFUL + SKILLFUL TRACKING
felt-sense of true ENERGETIC CONNECTION and sense of TIMELESSNESS
My POV On Why Attunement Matters
Others have shared that I am “attuned”, “tuned into my body” and/or “sensitive”, as if that is not the ‘norm’. When I hear this, I smile and shake my head a bit with surprise.
How else is there to live? For me, there is no other way to exist.
At 45 I have finally discovered, accepted and validated that this is who I am and have always been as I continue my own personal growth work.
By now embracing, honoring and trusting this aspect of myself, I am able to not only understand and know what I need but also how I can meet my own needs and find nourishment instead of depending on another to provide it for me.
Taking self-responsibility is empowering, liberating and fosters independence, which are three of my highest personal values.
As adults, who would take care of us, if WE don’t? We both know the answer.
So, in order to take responsibility of our health, our adult-selves, and our lives, ATTUNEMENT is the first step. After all, if we don’t know what we need, how will we know what to give ourselves, never mind another?
If we don’t take the responsibility aren’t we just children walking around looking for caretakers?
If we consistently practice self-attuning, then and only then, can we meet ourselves. If we can meet + fill ourselves, then and only then, can we give to our loved ones in a way that feel supportive to them; therefore, deepening the bond, connection and relationship.
Benefits of Self-Attuning and Attuning To Another.
helps you to keep our energy grounded so we stay centered, preventing anticipatory anxiety
empowers you to be truthful with yourself and others creating real, authentic and deep connection
gives you the capacity to effectively contribute to the world once you have met and filled our own needs
helps you feels safe, allowing you to move forward into positive action more easily
validates you as being “seen” or “felt” just as you are which supports your truest expression into the world
Simple Ways To Ground That Lead To Self-Attuning
HEEL BOUNCE. standing up with your knees bent, strongly bounce your heels onto the floor
BODYSHAKE. standing up with your knees bent, begin to bounce your heels onto the floor, add the bending and straightening of your knees, add shaking your hips up and down (or side to side, circular or whatever feels organic), add shaking your arms, your shoulders, your hands and lastly add gently shake your head whichever way feels good to you
WALL SQUAT. standing up with your upper back at the wall and your feet out 2ft from wall, lower your hips until they are level with your knees, hold this for 10 breaths, take a break and then repeat 3-5 more times.
PAUSE after anyone of these exericses to CHECK-IN with and WITNESS how you energetically, emotionally and mentally feel. Has something shifted in how you are experiencing yourself?
Simple Ways To Attune to Others.
EYE CONTACT. when in conversation, meet the others eyes, stay connected.
WITNESSING. take time to witness others; their breath, facial expressions, hand gestures, tone + volume of voice, etc…
TAKING THEM IN. once you make eye contact and witness the other, take them in; receive them and support them in a way that matches their energy field while honoring yours
PAUSE after making eye contact, witnessing or taking them in to CHECK-IN with and WITNESS how you energetically, emotionally and mentally feel. Has something shifted in how you are in relationship?
Conclusion. Attunement is about “meeting yourself (or another)”.
To self-attune, practice slowing down, coming into your breath, collecting your energy, feeling and sustaining groundedness and connection.
To attune to others, practice matching, validating and supporting that individual exactly where they are, without judgement and getting curious about their full experience.
If you are given the tools and practice with consistency, it can be rewarding.
Coming into the immediate now or present moment, witnessing + following another, using mindfulness + skillful tracking brings you into an energetic connection with a sense of timelessness.
As adults, it is our responsibility to self-attune in order to take care of ourselves and be in healthy relationship with others.
Heel bouncing, body-shaking and wall squatting are quick and easy ways to ground and self-attune. Making eye contact, witnessing and receiving the other are quick and easy ways to attune with others.
Attuning creates safety and trust, allows us to stay grounded, aids in the prevention of anticipatory anxiety, empowers us to be truthful and in deeper relationship, helps us effectively contribute back to the world and supports us in coming into our truest self-expression.
I encourage you to play with the practice of attuning and see what happens. What you do you learn? What changes in your experience of life; with others and with yourself?
Attunement is one of the most effective tools that I use with my clients. So, if you’re curious about being see for who you are in your wholeness and challenged to create forward movement in your life, contact me to schedule a 20 minute FREE consultation!